I've had a rough couple of weeks. That happens to me sometimes. I wish it didn't, but it does. And it stinks.
I've spent way too much time over the past few days crying buckets of tears for no good reason. Well, I thought I had good reasons at the time, but I can't seem to remember them right now.
I really hated the thought of airing my dirty laundry here (oh, I just remembered one of my good reasons: dirty laundry), but I have a feeling that I'm not the only one who has the occasional grumpy day (or week....or two weeks...). Just maybe other women struggle with out of control emotions that make them seem like a crazy person from time to time. Maybe? Anyone?
While I would love to blame my hormones, my family, and that pesky dirty laundry for all my troubles, I know that the real problem is my heart. It always is. At church this week, God used His Word to convict and correct me.
I often struggle with having contentment right where I am. I long for a world without sin. I want a life where everyone loves me perfectly. I want the kids to obey, the dishes not to pile up, and the laundry to fold itself. I want things to be easy. I want a life God did not give to me. Of course, I don't want a different husband or kids, I just want my circumstances of the moment to be different.
And then God says, "Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him..." (1 Corinthians 7:17). He goes on to talk to those who are slaves. SLAVES. He tells those who are in the worst situations possible that they have freedom through Him and that they should live their lives fully right where He has placed them, whether they are slaves or freemen.
Do I believe that God has placed me where I am? Do I believe that the Lord has a sovereign plan and purpose in every situation? Do I believe it when the children are arguing? How about when the house looks like it's been ransacked? When everything feels like it's falling apart? I'd like to say that I believe it. As a matter of fact, if you asked, I probably would say that I believe it. But my actions and attitudes tell a different story.
I ignore the Truth. I get caught up in me and forget about Him. I think that if God would simply change my circumstances or the people around me, then I could glorify Him by living fully where I am. Then everything would be better. But like my pastor reminded us, we have Jesus. Things can't get better than that!
"So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, let him remain with God." (1 Corinthians 7:24)
I have Jesus. Right here, right now. In the middle of the piles of laundry and homeschool lessons and dusty furniture, I have Jesus. When the people I love make loving hard, I have Jesus. During those moments when everything seems all messed up and it feels like God has left me alone, I have Jesus. Whether I believe it or not, I have Jesus.
I have Jesus, and it doesn't get any better than that.
This post is linked to Raising Homemakers.