“An excellent wife who can find?
She is fare more precious than jewels.”
I don’t think it’s an accident that this passage of scripture begins with this lovely lady’s position as a wife. It’s no accident that my list of goals starts there, either. So much of what I do stems from my relationship with my husband, and so many different aspects of my role in our home can bless and help him.
I want to be a better wife (better is my word for the year). I know that being a better mother and a better household manager will make me a better helpmate to my hubby, but I want to think of specific ways that I can grow and improve as his partner and soulmate. I want to be an excellent wife who builds up my husband in ways that only I can.
If I were to ask my husband what he wants from me as his wife, I know exactly what he would say. He’s told me before: He wants me to be happy. That’s it. He just wants me to be happy.
My guy feels responsible for the kind of life he provides for me, so if I am full of joy, he feels successful. If I have a long list of complaints to spout off everyday, not so much. I easily complain and call it “sharing my day”. It’s really just my way of venting about the normal ups and downs of being a mom and homemaker. My complaining heart ignores the fact that all those little trials I face are purposefully placed in my life by a loving God.
I might not be able to be happy every minute of every day, but a joyful heart will shine through even when happiness is impossible. We are told that the Proverbs 31 woman was clothed in strength and dignity, and she smiled at the future (Proverbs 31:25). She had a joyful heart attitude that was continually on display, regardless of her circumstances or the difficulties that were waiting for her down the road.
In an effort to cultivate a joyful heart that displays strength,dignity, and cheerfulness, I want to read the book Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I’ve had it on my shelf for months, and I think this would be a perfect time to pull it out. I know my heart needs help if I hope to grow in my goal of greater joy and cheerfulness.
I have a unique opportunity to encourage and build up my husband. I know him in ways that no one else does, and I love him in ways that no one else can. I love him. I mean, I LOVE him. After eighteen years of marriage, he still makes my heart flutter.
I want to look for little ways to make him feel special and appreciated as he is. A sweet note in his car in the morning. A plate of fresh veggies (his favorite snack) waiting for him when he comes home at night. A clean computer desk. All things that would make him smile.
I also can encourage him by guarding my tongue when we’re talking about his work. Just like the temptation to complain that I mentioned above, it’s easy to foster negative attitudes in my husband. If I spend my time pointing out the flaws in the people and situations he deals with on a daily basis, he’ll start feeling discontent. If I look for the good and give voice to the positive, he is more likely to feel like he has an ally at home who wants him to be successful right where he is.
God uses my prayers in my husband’s life. I have seen it countless times. Yet, I get busy and distracted, and I forget to pray. I forget that it matters. I need to pray for him. Continually.
Another book that’s been sitting on my shelf (and calling my name) is Praying God’s Word for Your Husband by Kathi Lipp. I’ve not yet cracked open her book, but I heard Kathi speak recently, and she was hilarious and insightful. She had such a heart of respect for her husband, something that’s often missing when women start talking about their men. I deeply desire to cultivate a consistent routine of praying for my husband, and using God’s Word as the foundation will give me purpose and direction.
Click to learn more about my goals for a better new year and for links to all the posts in this series.