Struggles

Mar
07

pre-sick prep

Last evening my husband came down with the stomach flu. Yuck!  He suffered with it through the night, and he looked rather pitiful for most of today....not a sight we're used to seeing around here.

Unfortunately, I doubt that my hubby will be the only sick, pitiful member of this family before the week is over. These things don't tend to go away quickly. Since I'm slightly paranoid about catching a stomach bug, I've washed my hands countless times today and have only eaten small amounts of food at a time, just in case. I'm dreading what the next few days may bring.

But besides keeping myself clean, hydrated, and empty, I've also used this day to prepare for the coming doom. Whenever I feel an illness coming on or know that one is likely to hit, I try to be intentional with the time I have before I'm either knocked out on the sofa or playing nurse. Or both. 

Here are some pre-sick tasks I find helpful:

DO THE TO-DO'S NOW-I like to take a look at my weekly plan to see if there are any tasks important enough to be done ahead of time. I'll run errands, pay bills, and make phone calls now instead of hoping for the time and energy later. 

GO SHOPPING-I'll make a quick grocery trip to stock up on the usual sick supplies:  Sprite, crackers, juice, Popsicles, fever medicine, tissues, paper towels and disinfecting wipes. I also might grab some frozen pizzas and boxes of mac & cheese so I don't have to work too hard for dinner if I'm sick while the family is still well (and hungry). 

WASH THE LAUNDRY (ALL OF IT)-As much as possible, I'll take care of all the dirty clothes today. I may need the washing machine for icky jammies and germ-infested sheets in the coming days. 

COOK AHEAD-I'm making a big pot of chicken soup for dinner, preparing extra pasta with lunch, and cooking up some homemade applesauce.  I want to have things in the fridge that can be heated up or dished out easily for meals and snacks. 

THINK OF ENTERTAINMENT-This is the time to stop by the library, search for favorites on Netflix, look for forgotten coloring books. If the kids are sick, they'll need some distractions. If I'm sick, they'll need some distractions. 

Well, that's what I have planned for the next few days. Maybe all of this planning will be for nothing. No sick kids. No nights spent in the bathroom. No scrubbing floors or washing sheets. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I feel tired and a bit queasy. But I think it's all in my head. I hope!

UPDATE:  It has begun. Before I could get this published, it hit the first of the kids. Hard. I suppose it's going to pick us off one by one. Thankfully, I'm usually spared until the last child had thrown up on me and the final load of dirty sheets has been tossed into the machine. Ahhh....something to look forward to.

This post is linked to Works for Me Wednesday. 

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Aug
11

Lazy Days

I feel LAZY.  Very, very lazy.

Taking some down time or enjoying some relaxation with the family is a good thing.  Reading a magazine while the kiddos splash in the pool is a worthwhile activity.  Even just sitting around, soaking up the fresh air and sunshine can be a valuable use of time.

But doing nothing (or nothing good) when there are plenty of things that need done is just plain wrong. Finding an excuse for sitting at the computer so I don't have to start the laundry is not noble by any stretch of the imagination.  Dragging through the day with no direction or desire for  accomplishment is not relaxing.  It's lazy.

That's the camp I'm in.

Over the past week or so, I've worked hard around here.  As a matter of fact, I've worked very hard. But not during the past couple of days.  Working these last two days has felt about as easy as running the hundred yard dash through four feet of water. No matter how hard I try, and I'm not trying very hard, I simply am not getting much done. I'm spinning my wheels and getting nowhere.  It's rather frustrating.

I really want to give in to my selfish desires.  I want to surf the web and ignore the dirty bathrooms. I want to pretend that this house is going to clean itself.

Unfortunately for my sin nature, the Word of God is convicting my heart today.  I read about the Proverbs 31 woman this morning. The phrase that keeps popping into my head throughout this day is, "She...does not eat the bread of idleness." I like bread.  And idleness.  Not good.

So, this mama needs a change of attitude. I need to strap on my apron (I love aprons!), listen to some uplifting music, and kick it into gear.  I'm going to pray for grace, write some scripture on an index card to carry with me, and start a done-it list.  I'm sure I will still struggle with exhaustion and distractions, but God will give me all the strength I need.

Jun
28

Not the Proverbs 31 Woman

I have a confession to make: That Proverbs 31 lady can really get on my nerves sometimes. Do you know what I mean?

She seems to have it all together. She blesses her husband, manages her home, plants vineyards, weaves cloth, makes clothes, helps the poor, travels to the ends of the earth for good food, and apparently never sleeps. She also is dignified, optimistic about the future, always wise, and amazingly kind. Nauseating isn't it?

Meanwhile, here I am, with everything seeming to be in a constant downward spiral. I think I'd be happy if I could just master one of the countless things she pulls off so effortlessly. She sweeps through life gracefully, while I'm clumsily chasing after the ideal home....ideal schedule....ideal meal plan....ideal laundry system....on and on....you get the point.

It's enough to make me tell Ms. Proverbs 31 to take her perfect life and bury it in a vineyard somewhere, especially on a week like this.

You see, I have company coming this weekend. Now, I know that they could care less about how my house looks, but I care about how it looks. I want to have every inch of it cleaned and organized. If someone asks me for a thumbtack, I want to know exactly where to find one. If I suddenly need a straight pin, I want to effortlessly go and get it. (Hey, you never know when you'll have a thumbtack or straight pin emergency.) I don't want to cringe if somebody tries to use the upstairs bathroom, and I don't want the kids to need a ladder and a length of rope in order to get to the toys in the closet.

I want everything perfect. Perfectly perfect. I even want the hidden spots that only I know about to perfect. I want everything to be just right. And I want to be smiling, as though everything fell into place naturally.

I want to be the Proverbs 31 woman. I want to do it all. I want to be it all. Probably not going to happen.

I'm pretty sure that God included the last chapter of Proverbs to be an encouragement to us as women. I would guess that the picture painted there is meant to inspire and encourage. Instead, I can easily allow it to condemn. Convict. Declare me guilty.

I am a woman whose heart is ruled by pride. I desperately desire to be Martha Stewart and Elisabeth Elliot all rolled up into one. I'd also throw in some Edith Schaeffer for good measure. If I wanted this for the glory of God, that would be noble. But I want to look good. That's a fact.

I don't want anyone to know that I'm barely holding things together around here. I don't want anyone to suspect that I haven't dusted in weeks or seen the floor of the loft for the past two months. I don't want anyone to think that I'm not in control. I don't want anyone to know the truth.

Yet, here I am. I have a To Do List longer than my arm. Longer than both my arms. There's no way that I'm going to get everything done. There's no way that I'll be able to make everything perfect.

So, I will have to swallow my pride. I will have to prioritize. I will have to decide what is necessary and what is luxury. I will be forced to strive for being a woman who "fears the Lord," while accepting that looking "well to the ways of [my] household" might not be enough to produce the result I'm hoping for.

Maybe then I will remember that God's grace is sufficient for all He wants me to accomplish. Maybe I'll figure out how to be content in my weakness so that I can rest in His strength. Just maybe I'll finally believe that "when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

May God continue to work on this foolish heart of mine and keep reminding me of His perfect work on the cross. God is good.

How do you deal with your imperfections?

This post is linked to Raising Homemakers.

Jun
01

Crazy Week Survival

This is going to be quite a week. We have a baseball or softball activity (or both) every evening...I'm desperately trying to finish up our homeschool year before our vacation next week...I'm pushing my teenager to prepare for his finals (which, by the way, add a layer of stress known only to astronauts and people who swim with sharks)...and my house is an absolute mess. Just to name a few things.

Do you remember that peace I was striving for last week? Still striving. The long holiday weekend only added to the chaos around here. The normal straightening up I do in the evenings didn't get done, so everywhere I look I see something that needs my attention. There are countless projects, both big and small, that I had hoped to accomplish by the end of the week. Now I'm just hoping to escape the next few days with a shred of sanity.

I'm tempted to quit, throw in the towel, give up. But I'm sure my family will be grateful if I stick it out and do my job instead. If I'm going to survive the craziness, I'll need to keep my head on straight. I'll need a plan, or at least a little direction.

Here's how I'm going to manage the week:

    My Morning To Do List- This list helps me fake it. There, now you know my secret. These tasks help my home look cleaner than it actually is. Works for me.

    Focus on the necessities- Food to eat. Clothes to wear. Everything else can fall by the wayside (and it just might) so long as bellies are full and bodies are covered.

    Spend time on priorities- I'm not very good at prioritizing. Everything seems extremely important. All the time. But that's a topic for another day. The obvious priority this week is finishing our homeschool year. Ready or not, we must be done by early next week.

    Do one thing at a time- Unless someone masters that whole cloning thing before the weekend, I'll need to admit that I'm only one person. If you listen very closely right now you can probably hear me muttering, "One thing at a time, Amy" as I resist unloading the dishwasher and folding the towels while simultaneously typing.

    Smile- For me, this one may be the hardest yet. My tendency is to grumble and complain. Not a very productive (or God-glorifying) use of my energy. If I can stay cheerful through the madness, then my family will be more cheerful. This always equals more time to spent getting things done and less time spent putting out the fires that result from sour attitudes.

    Spend time with God- This one deserves first place (it's part of my Morning To Do List) and last place. I will easily push aside my quiet time in favor of other "more important" things, like washing dishes or sleeping. I have an opportunity to grow near to God this week. There's just something about facing my human deficiencies that forces me into a deeper understanding of God's grace.


So, do you have any survival tips? Share them in the comments. I need all the help I can get!

This post is linked to Raising Homemakers.

May
25

Blessings

Shoes are piled by the door.
The television needs dusted.
Dinner dishes are in the sink.
Piles of dirty clothes are waiting to be washed.
Wet towels are littering the bathroom floor.
The kids' toys and books need picked up and put away.
And the alarm pulled me out of my cozy bed all too early in this morning.

I am blessed beyond measure. I am blessed in ways I do not deserve....and rarely appreciate.

My family has piles of shoes and the luxury of clothes. Lots of them. My house is full of possessions that I have the privilege of dusting and organizing and complaining about when they're left on the floor. My sink has running water-hot running water- that I can use to wash the dishes that held food. Food that I didn't have to hunt for under the rubble or accept from generous hands.

While I may sigh when the kids argue today....another mom is longing to hear her sweet baby's voice just one more time.

While I will wish for a moment of rest....a wife a few states away wishes for a house. Wishes for her house that is suddenly a pile of splinters and debris.

While I will, most likely, grumble over minor frustrations....other women will suffer thorough true loss and sorrow. Unimaginable.

Today, I'll do this life of mine all over again. I'll pick up the shoes, wash the dishes, fold the laundry, clean the house, discipline the children. But I hope that I will see all of these chores for what they are: Gifts.

Let us give generously and pray continually. May the God who did not spare His own Son be very near those who are suffering today. You are in our prayers.

May
24

Peace and Happiness



Peace. Don't have it. Want to get it.

Now, I'm not talking about peace with God (although that's important) or peace with others (that's good, too). I'm talking about a peaceful feeling. A restful state of mind. A quiet heart.

There are certain things in my home that make me feel uneasy. They make my heart race. And not in a good way. These things are like huge weights on my shoulders. They're little messes, big disorganized piles, screaming tasks, and inevitable guilt trips.

I can't take it anymore. Seriously. It's time to do something about it. I'm tired of this heart-pounding-life's-out-of-control feeling.

But what's a girl to do?

I can't make more time in my day. I can't stop teaching, disciplining, making meals, or doing the laundry (that would produce some peace!). There are a lot of things that really are out of my control.

But there are other things that I can take care of around here. There are some tasks, both big and small, that I can do to relieve the pressure I'm feeling and help me breathe a little easier.

FIRST THINGS FIRST
To get me started, I decided that some lists were in order:

    Must do- these are the things that make me want to escape to my bedroom with a cup of tea and a pound of chocolate. I know that I will never feel at ease until these things are marked off.

    Will do- this list contains things that should be done before long, but they don't have that heart-racing effect on me. Still, if I don't get to them soon, they just might work their way up to the "Must Do" list.

    Someday do- this list is a reminder of the countless things I'd like to do in my home. I don't need to carve out time today, but I'll try to work through them as time or desire pops up.


Just making these lists feels like an accomplishment. When all of the tasks were floating around in my head, they felt like an ocean, ready to wash over me. They aren't so scarey now. I can see clearly where I should put my time and attention.

I wish that I could just take a day (or two) and wipe my slate clean. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen. But I'll keep my lists close at hand. I'll mark things off one at a time. I'll do what I can when I can.

I'm not sure if I have that elusive peace yet, but at least I have hope. And that's a step in the right direction.

What do you do when the clutter and chores of life overwhelm you? Share your thoughts in the comments!

This post is linked to Raising Homemakers.