struggles - Gospel Homemaking

May
03

Using My Time Wisely

Time management has been on my mind lately....mostly because it's been on my heart.

I'm busy all the time. There is always something that needs done or someone that needs helped. I start working early in the morning, and I don't stop until it's officially considered "night". I do housework, or schoolwork, or blog work non-stop. It's hard to find a spare moment even to fold the laundry, do the dishes, go to the bathroom.

At least that's what I tell myself. But I think I've been lying.

God has convicted me about how I use (or waste) my time.

While I always feel too busy to get anything accomplished in my home and life, I'm realizing that instead of guarding my time, I'm wasting it. Facebook, Twitter, email, and blogs can suck my time dry. For me, those are the biggest culprits. Those things aren't bad, but letting them rule my life isn't good.

I've been chatting up the huge Ultimate Homemaking eBook Bundle this week like it's the best thing since sliced bread. Well, it just might be, but in the back of my mind, all I can think is , "How on earth will I ever find time to read ONE book, let alone 97 of them?!?"

If I really want to grow in wisdom and knowledge, then I'll make the effort to make the time. Period. Just like if I truly love my kids, I'll make time to do fun things with them. And if I honestly believe that the gospel is lived out through homemaking, I'll actually get to work and make our home a lovely place to be.

I need to take responsibility for my time management.

I can usually find a way to blame other people and circumstances for my lack of time. I can't do things that are important (like sorting the mail or folding the laundry or reading my kid a book) because of reasons that are beyond my control. I'm pretty sure none of these issues are my fault.

Right?

If only those stinkin' kids of mine weren't so messy....If only there weren't so many evening activities on our schedule....If only my husband worked fewer hours....If only I didn't homeschool....

I could go on.

I have plenty of excuses, but they won't buy me an extra minute of time.

I need to admit that I waste a whole lot of time throughout each day. That's why I feel like I don't have any. I had it, but I spent it either being inefficient or being plain old wasteful.

It hurts to admit that. It isn't easy to confess that all my talk about being intentional and following routines is just a bunch of talk. What more can I say?

I can take small steps toward using my time wisely.

Here are some things I can do...

- Keep track of how I'm spending my time. I just recently got an app for my iPad called "Now Then". It enables me to track how I'm using my time with a quick click.

- Set timers and work quickly. It usually takes me about 15 minutes to pack my son's lunch in the morning. Yesterday, we were running late for an early dentist appointment, so I had to kick the lunch-packing into high gear. I did it in four minutes. FOUR. How much time have I been wasting every week by being casual with just this one task?!?

- Focus on one thing at a time. If I'm folding the laundry, I shouldn't be checking my email. If I'm unloading the dishwasher, Facebook can wait. Tracking my time and setting timers will help with this, but I still need to make a conscious effort to stay focused on the task at hand.

- Make routines and stick to them. Routines enable me to know what needs done without having to think too much. Not having to think is always a good thing for me. If I'm following my routines, all the necessary tasks will get done efficiently. But, like everything else, they only work if I actually follow them.

- Read and work near my kids. My youngest son knows when I'm distracted. He doesn't say anything about it because he's too sweet for that, but he notices. If I'm cleaning the house with him nearby, he doesn't seem to mind because I'm still available for answering questions. If I'm reading a book beside him while he's doing his schoolwork, I can still give him the math help he needs. If I'm surfing Facebook while he's standing talking to me, I probably won't even notice him. Just a sad fact.

I'm taking the leap.

I'm committing myself to managing my time better. Can I just tell you that I'm shaking in my boots right now? I know this is going to take work. Hard, purposeful work and self-discipline.

And prayer.

It's harder to do the wrong thing if I've prayed about it. It feels more like the sin that it is.

With just these few simple tips, I think I can free up the time needed to properly care for my home and minister to my family. I'll no longer need my long list of excuses.

As far as the Ultimate Homemaking eBook Bundle, I'm going to get it because I think it will help me become a better wife, mother, homemaker, blogger, and follower of Christ. And I'm going to find the time to read the books. I have the time; I just need to be sure I'm not letting it slip away.

I don't want to be sitting here a month from now feeling this same way. I want to bless my family by using my time in a way that glorifies God and reflects what really matters to me. I want to be the homemaker God has called me to be.

By the way, The Ultimate Homemaking eBook Bundle is only being offered until May 4, 2013 at 11:59pm. So, if you're planning on getting it, too, you won't want to wait. Once it's gone, it's gone for good.

2 replies »

Apr
05

5 Days of Intentional Living :: Intentional Attitudes

I forget.

I forget why I do this homemaking thing.

I forget why it matters.

I forget that it does matter.

I forget that it isn't about laundry, or dusting, or dishes.

I forget that it's really about the gospel.

I just forget.

Or maybe I ignore, or overlook, or don't care.

I don't know.

What I do know is that homemaking does matter. Creating a home filled with beauty, and good smells, and fun memories is important work. It's worthy work.

All the cleaning, the sorting, the organizing, the washing, the cooking, the scrubbing, the picking-up, the putting-away, the doing it over and over again.....It all matters because it says something about us and what we believe.

It matters because it's about the gospel.

I don't understand exactly how that works, but I know it's true. In making a home, we are creating a picture, for those inside and out, of what gospel living should look like. We are showing that it's loving and comforting. It's inspiring, encouraging, and beautiful. It's everything a life lived for Jesus should be.

And still, I forget.

I forget that it's about the heart.

And as I stop thinking about the heart and start thinking about the Cinderella-work of it all, my attitude goes downhill. Fast. Like Olympic world record kind of fast. Then, I get grumpy and cry. Or make other people cry. Or both.

I've got issues.

As I'm trying to get back to the basics of homemaking, I'm realizing that I need an attitude adjustment. I need to address the things going on in my heart, not just my home. Although, really, whatever is going on inside my heart has a direct effect on what goes on inside my home.

So, I'm taking this next week to discuss matters of the heart. I'm joining with a zillion (well, maybe it's just fifteen) other bloggers to discuss intentional living, and I'm going to be talking about "Intentional Attitudes."

Because my attitude stinks.

And I figure, why talk about something you're good at when you can talk about something you're struggling with so the whole world can know how messed up you really are.

See? Issues.

The intentional living series will take place on all 16 blogs for 5 straight days beginning Monday, April 8th and ending on Friday, April 12th. This means there will be 80 posts on intentional living, and I want to read them all. Every single one (I can't wait!).

Click on over to find out what topics the other bloggers are covering....

You'll also want to subscribe, and Like, and Follow, and all that good stuff so you don't miss any of the posts in this series!

INTENTIONAL ATTITUDES SERIES:
An Act of the Will
Take Every Thought Captive
Preach the Gospel
Prayer and the Word
A Heart for the Home

5 replies »

Apr
02

Back to Homemaking Basics :: Striving for (less than) Perfect

Many, many years ago, when we were first married and I was probably pregnant (since that happened just a few months into married life), I would get up with Brian before the crack of dawn on the weekends to see him off to work. Because that's what you do when you're young and in love.

I still do that sort of thing. Because I'm still ~~young and~~ in love.

Anyway...

After Brian left for work, I would turn on the TV to one of the four channels we got with our rabbit-ear antennae and sit in the early morning darkness watching Martha Stewart's television show. That was back when you could see Martha just once a week, and even then only if you set an alarm.

Boy, I'm old.

I couldn't wait to watch that show each weekend. While my kitchen cabinets were sparsely stocked with one pan, one skillet, one mixing bowl, and one spatula, I began dreaming of the meals I could make and the pies I could create. I dreamed of the style and the beauty. I dreamed of the lovely perfection.

In all honesty, it was a good kind of dream. I didn't feel deprived or envious; I felt inspired.

And eighteen years later, I'm still dreaming of that lovely perfection. Except now, I'm pretty sure I feel slightly deprived and envious.

Ever since those early days, I've wanted to be an exceptional homemaker.

I've wanted to bake, and create, and sew, and do everything just right. I've wanted to effortlessly clean and organize. I've wanted it all to come naturally. And perfectly.

Unfortunately, I'm me. Let me tell you, I'm no Martha. I don't want to be.

(Actually I kind of do. But just the good parts that I like.)

I don't have a perfectly organized house, always-clean floors, or a special system to make my laundry wash itself. I'm not exceptional, extremely creative, full of style. Definitely not full of style. I can bake pretty well, but I rarely find the time. I struggle to keep my house clean. I struggle to manage meals, and kids, and life.

That perfect home I want to create doesn't come naturally to me. It takes effort. A lot of effort. And even then I'm not perfect.

I'm just normal, ordinary, average.

So, while all the cool people are doing a bunch of spring cleaning this month, I'm not. I can't.

It sounds lovely. It really does, but I need to get back to homemaking basics. I need to do what I need to do.

To be honest, if I start doing what I need to do, then spring cleaning will be pretty much unnecessary.

When I'm following my Daily To Do List, my home stays clean a little at a time. With my Monthly To Do tasks, my house is spring cleaned throughout the year as I tackle a different area of my home each week. And with my Weekly To Do List, I'm able to manage all those repetitive tasks by scheduling the chores into various day.

It works for me.

Each weekend, I share my Daily To Do List {Weekly Plan}, a blueprint for the following week's cleaning and organizing. After it's posted, I put it under the To-Do List tab at the top of the page so you can find it easily throughout the week.

Then each day, I post a mini Daily To Do List that gives a little more detail on the Monthly task I'm going to work on, in case you want to do it, too. It also includes links to my Morning To Do List and my Afternoon To Do List, since those are the glue that hold my crazy life together.

And I send out reminders during the day on Facebook and Twitter, so we can keep on track. Actually, so I can keep on track, but I hope they help you as well.

My goal in sharing all these lists, and tasks, and chores isn't to paint some idealistic picture of homemaking that none of us can hope to reach. It's to encourage you to keep plugging away, even if you're just normal. Even if keeping up and keeping house feels like more work for you than it seems to be for everyone else. It's work for me, too.

So, I'm thinking that maybe we can do this whole imperfect-homemaking-thing together. What do you think? Are you in?

Shared with Live Called and Christian Mommy Blogger.

4 replies »

Apr
01

Clean House :: Back to Homemaking Basics

Sometimes, I look around at the messy shelves, and the piles of books, and the cluttered kitchen counters, and the stuff I don't want to get rid of of but don't really want to keep....and I think I'd rather just move than have to deal with it all.

(Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way every now and then. Please.)

Wouldn't it be so nice to have a fresh start? A new beginning? Every inch of life would be clean and organized. We wouldn't own anything we didn't want or need. There would be a place for everything, and everything would be in its place.

Yep.

And chocolate ice cream would be naturally slimming, fancy coffee drinks would be free, and my kids would never leave their dirty socks on the floor. Oh, the bliss.

Hey, if I'm gonna dream, then I might as well dream big.

There are days when it seems like a "do-over" would be so much easier than a "do-better". But this is real life, and I don't have the luxury of turning back the clock or moving instead of cleaning. It doesn't work that way. Bummer.

Whenever I start wishing that I had done things in life differently (I'm a parent. This happens a lot.), my husband likes to remind me that I can be different today. I can start over right now. I can take the necessary steps toward being the best "whatever" I wish I was, no time travel required.

He's right. Annoying, isn't it?

I need to face the music. And the counters....and shelves....and piles....you get the point. I can't sit here wishing for a different situation that doesn't exist. I need to take action. Now.

It's time to get back to homemaking basics.

I need to get off my...um...rear and do the job I've been given. I have the tools. I understand the routines. But I need to apply what I know. That's going to take some work.

I'm going to start really following my Daily To Do List {Weekly Plan}, even if it kills me. I don't think it will, but if it does, I'm still following it. You can see it all day, everyday, by clicking the To-Do List tab at the top of the page.

I'll do my Morning To Do List every morning, in the morning. Imagine that.

I'll do my Afternoon To Do List everyday, too. I usually just think about it, and talk about, and then procrastinate it. 'Cause that's my thing.

And I'm going to do my Weekly To Do List tasks and my Monthly To Do List tasks. No putting them off until tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month. No procrastinating (even though it really is my thing - or "thang", if you prefer).

We'll also be talking "back to homemaking basics" kind of stuff around here a little more. Because maybe I'm not alone. Maybe you struggle, too. And just maybe we can all learn from my years of mistakes and experiences.

I hope you'll join me on this journey. You probably see the signs pointing you to subscribe and follow and all that junk, but if you haven't already made the leap, this might be a good time to consider jumping in. I won't ask you to share any personal information or donate an organ or anything. I promise. It's just a way for us to connect and encourage each other in this life of making a home for our families.

So, tell me...Is there one thing - right now - that's driving you crazy? Can you do something to change it? (Pssst...I'll share my "one thing" in the comments. Read mine and then share your own!)

5 replies »

Mar
20

Sick Days :: Survival

Even though being sick stinks, it happens to the best of us. I've been fighting the plague (aka. this-really-annoying-virus-that-won't-go-away) for over a week now. It isn't fun, in case you were wondering.

Since life doesn't stop just because Mom is under the weather, I have to be able to survive the sick days and help my family survive them, too. If I'm not careful, both my home and my emotions will be a disaster. That isn't good for anyone, and it affects everyone. I need to have some strategies to hold life together, even if I feel like I'm falling apart.

Here are a few tips I try to keep in mind on sick days:

Be prepared- This bug hit me rather suddenly, but many times I have a little bit of warning that I'm feeling strange. Well, more strange than usual. Whenever possible, it helps immensely to be prepared for the impending doom.

Focus on necessities - Food and clothing. Those are the only two things that are really necessary. My family needs clothes to wear to school and work. They need to eat. They do not need furniture without dust or countertops without clutter. And I promise you that the kids will survive even if cereal, sandwiches, and frozen pizza are the only three food groups they eat for a couple of days. Trust me, I've run the tests to prove it.

Rest - I usually get up very early in the morning and keep moving for most of the day. When I'm sick, I reset the alarm, take naps, and allow myself to just sit. I also tend to let the kids watch television, play video games, eat marshmallows, whatever. Again, they really will survive, even if they are plunked in front of a screen with sugar in hand so I can rest. It's only a day.

Avoid important things - When I start my decision making with the words, "I don't even care," that's not a good sign. Paying bills, switching phone companies, making large purchases. All those things should wait, if at all possible.

Avoid emotional issues- This is not the time to evaluate the state of my home or my effectiveness as a parent. Self-contemplation and fever are not friends. It also isn't the time to address my children's faults or failures. They will still be leaving their dirty laundry on the floor next week; I can deal with it then. Same goes for any issues that might come up with my husband. It's best to run (or at least crawl) away from conflict until I can muster up some non-sick perspective.

Offer grace - It is just too easy to feel sorry for myself when I'm sick and to use my illness as an excuse for my sinfulness. It's like temptation is breaking down the door and I'm simply too beat up to fight. When I give in to complaining and a poor-me-attitude, I start judging others. Then it gets ugly. Really ugly. My husband is not a nurturing mother. My children are not natural caregivers. I need to be thankful for their efforts and overlook the opportunities they miss to meet my every need.

Remember the gospel- I know it's hard. Believe me...I know! But it is important to keep the state of my heart in mind, regardless of how I feel. God has given me this uncomfortable opportunity to advance the gospel through my physical suffering. I can also use this time to remember that Jesus wore a weak human body, too. He knew pain that I will never experience. He loves me and cares about me. And He wants me to have the humility to cry out to Him.

What strategies do YOU use to survive your sick days?

6 replies »

Feb
15

Living Love

The "love passage" in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is one of my favorites. Those are some go-to verses for me when I need encouragement or an attitude adjustment. They are beautiful and convicting, all at the same time.

But I often overlook the verses that come right before this well-known passage. It always seemed like they didn't really apply to me:

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

Since I don't usually struggle with things like properly handling my gift of prophecy (which I don't happen to have) or my amazing ability to move mountains with my enormous faith (don't have that gift either), I tended to skim over these verses on my way to the ones I really wanted to read.

But while I was learning about what it truly means to love from Jerry Bridges' book The Fruitful Life, I turned to 1 Corinthians 13 every day for a couple of weeks. As I read that chapter from my Bible over and over, it suddenly occurred to me that those first three verses actually applied to me, right where I am, even with my lack of prophetic powers and miraculous faith.

I realized that tongues, and prophecy, and faith aren't really the point. Love is. The message is that even if we do very good things for God, but don't have love, those good things are worthless. They are about as lovely and valuable as some annoying clanging.

As a matter of fact, it tells me that if I give up my life by enduring a painful death, but don't have love, that it is counted as nothing. Absolutely nothing. That's how important love is. That's how much it matters that everything I do is tempered with love. And if I am expected to have love even while dying a torturous death (which, hopefully I'll never need to), then God probably expects me to have love while washing the dishes. Or picking up dirty socks. Or correcting a disobedient child.

Now when I read those few verses, I paraphrase them in my own mind:

"If I keep an immaculately clean house, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have perfectly behaved children, and understand everything there is to know about homeschooling, and read my Bible and continually pray, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give up all of my time and energy to care for my family, and if I deny my own desires and hobbies, but have not love, I gain nothing."

Love. No clanging. No worthless serving. Just love. That's what God wants from me.

How about you? Do you ever struggle to love while doing "good"?

2 replies »