battleground

I'm in battle.

And I don't like it.

I like peace, love, and happiness. I like joy to the world, sugar and spice, and every other cliche used to describe that warm fuzzy feeling. But I don't like battles.

Especially when they're going on in my mind.

I've been struggling lately with the thoughts I allow to flow through my head when I get frustrated or when someone sins agains me. Since I'm a sinner living with other sinners, it happens a lot. I find myself thinking phrases like, They are such a (insert unkind noun or adjective)...I hate when they do (whatever)...They always/never do (you name it).

It's really ugly. Trust me.

And it's easy to excuse my sin because it all goes on inside my head. I would never say those yucky things out loud. At least I'd like to think I wouldn't. Still, I entertain them in my thoughts. I act like it's alright because the other person really did do something wrong or the situation really is annoying. I accept my own lame excuses.

But sin is sin.

It isn't like it's harmless as long as it's inside of me, but then becomes sin the minute it pours out. It is sin at its conception. God wants all of me, not just the parts that others see. He sees. He knows my secrets. He is offended by them.

They say that admitting you have a problem is the first step (another cliche). Put into a biblical context, that saying is true, except that it should read, "Confessing a problem is the first step".  In I John 1:9 we read, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

I have a problem:  
I have a sinful heart that is directing my sinful mind.  
I need cleansed from all unrighteousness.  By God's grace.

I'll be talking about this more in the coming days as I work to resolve these heart issues of mine. I'm afraid I might have quite a fight ahead of me.

This post is linked to Raising Homemakers.

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