I don’t know that I ever would have described my life as “normal”. I’m not completely crazy, but I’m sure that many people would call this homemaking-homeschooling-homeloving mom a bit…..unusual. That’s fine with me. Still, I think that most of us have an idea of what “normal life” means for our own unique family. I like normal. Normal is good.
Yet, sometimes “normal” just doesn’t exist. Occasionally, we all have “one of those days” when everything falls apart, and you’re left trying to stick the pieces back together with the jelly that someone smeared across the kitchen floor (and probably tracked all over the living room rug). At other times, we have entire seasons when “normal” seems to slip through our fingers. A job loss, an ongoing illness, or a bout of morning sickness can take a “normal life” and shake it up. Or, like what I’m experiencing now, the loss of a loved one can turn life upside down. It’s tempting to crawl into a hole (or at least back into bed) and try to wish both the trouble and the To Do List away. But, since family life never seems to slow down and wait for “normal” to return, we need to learn how to handle these less-than-ideal situations.
I wish I could say that I have this all figured out. Boy, do I wish I could say that! Instead, I’ll simply have to share with you some things I’m learning right now about prioritizing and pressing on in spite of the trials that God brings into our lives:
-Guard your heart. When difficulties pour into our lives, it’s important to resist self-pity. Even though I have times when I cry or feel downright sad, I know that I need to watch out for feeling sorry for myself. Allowing ourselves to rest, grieve, or take some time off can be necessary. But hiding away or dwelling on our problems rarely makes us feel better. Talk to your husband or a friend if this temptation seems too big to resist.
-Focus on the necessities. I can’t do everything right now. I don’t want to do everything right now. Some days, I don’t want to do anything! Fixing meals, washing dishes, and doing the laundry are three things that must be done. We all need to eat, and if I neglect the dishes or laundry, they’ll just keep piling up. On the other hand, life will keep moving just fine if I don’t get to the dusting or detail clean the bathrooms. I also try to have the kids help pick up in the living room each evening. This helps make our home feel more peaceful, and that’s something we need right now.
-Lighten up. I’m a painfully frugal kind of girl, but I’ve needed to let that go a little during this time. A rotisserie chicken or take-out pizza might not be usual fare around here, but the few extra dollars spent at the grocery store have bought me some sanity. Simple things like cooking easy meals, using paper plates, and shopping without coupons have helped me save my brain for the other tasks I can’t let go.
-Accept help. Everyone knows that no one does things quite like mom, but this isn’t the time to remind people of that fact. Be thankful when your husband, your children, or a friend offers to give you a hand. Sure, everything might not be perfect (and it might take you two weeks to find your favorite measuring cup after someone else puts the dishes away!), but you also might learn a valuable lesson in humility.
-Do something. I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating: Something is better than nothing. I don’t try to get a long list of things done each day, but I try to at least do something. And I often find that if I get moving on something simple like making the bed or loading the dishwasher, I somehow find the energy to do a couple more tasks, too. At the beginning of each day, I also think of one or two things besides the necessities that I’d like to accomplish. By limiting my To Do List, I don’t get overwhelmed, but I still get a few things done.
I can’t say when “normal” will return around here. I’m sure that our old view of “normal” is a thing of the past. But I’m also sure that one day, in God’s good and perfect timing, He will bring the peace that comes with getting back to (our new) “normal”.
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Photo credit: escher
