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It's odd how lonely motherhood can be.

You know, since we are never, never, ever alone.

Never.

Never ever.

Amen?

But it isn't being  alone that makes us lonely; it's feeling  alone that does it. It's the thought that all we do is wash the same laundry, and discipline the same disobedience, and wipe up the same spills. Over and over again, all by ourselves.

And it's hard. Today is not forever, but today is still hard.

Our husband goes to his job...then his second job...sometimes even a third, and we are the ones left to deal with every tantrum and trauma.

Maybe Daddy goes out of town for a business trip, or is deployed, or has never been around, or is asleep while we get up for the eighteenth time in the middle of the night. And we are the ones who are there to do it all, all the time.

We feel so very alone because, in many ways, we are.

My husband has always managed restaurants, so he works a whole lot of odd hours. He doesn't have the same days off as other husbands do, and he is rarely home for dinner.

His schedule was even worse when our kids were little. He would leave for work a few minutes after lunch each day and come home in the wee hours of the morning. I did nearly every dinner, bath, and bedtime all by myself.

I know. The loneliness of motherhood can be overwhelming.

I know that sometimes it's just too much.

The feelings of exhaustion mix with the realities of life with needy children, and we can easily slip into despair. Even though my kids are older, I'm still the one who deals with most of the drama, and driving, and discipline myself. Just like the long days of toddlerhood can seem never ending, so can the long days of teenagehood (new word?).

And I regularly lock myself in my room to cry. In case you were wondering.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.

But after I'm done with my pity party, I usually do what I should have done all along: I turn to the Great Comforter, the one who knew the worst kind of loneliness.

God is the only One who promises to never leave us or forsake us (Joshua 1:5). In the dark of night and through the long, weary days, God is there (Psalm 139:1-12). His steadfast love never ceases; His mercies never come to an end (Lamentations 3:22-25).

Something happens in our hearts when we can cry out like the writer of Psalm 73:25-26 that "there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you" and that "God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Rejoice always.

Then, once the truth of God's Word begins to soften my jaded heart, I can see clearly enough to change my tears into joy. I can begin to praise God for the very trials that nearly broke me.

I thank God for the food we put on that pile of dirty dishes.

I thank Him that I get to teach my little one I love her, even when she is grumpy and disagreeable.

I praise the Lord for the opportunity to love my husband by washing his dirty laundry.

You get the picture.

It's hard to complain about something that I just thanked God for.

Take practical steps.

The lonely heart needs corrected and comforted by truth that can only come through prayer and the Word of God, but there are practical things we can do, especially when the kiddos are young, to keep some of the loneliness at bay.

~Have a basic routine- Even if you aren't a "schedule person," having a basic routine will keep the days moving. It can be as simple as always reading stories after breakfast and giving naps right after lunch. It's encouraging to know that nap time and bedtime will eventually roll around.

~Put the kids to bed early- My kids always went to bed very, very early. As a matter of fact, they still joke about going to bed while it was bright light outside. Sorry, children, you'll understand when you have kids of your own.

~Get out of the house- Take a walk. Go to the grocery store. Play in the backyard. Breathe air outside of your own four walls. It helps.

~Visit with a friend- It's always encouraging to fellowship with others. It helps to know that your friend's son still wets the bed, her little girl whines just like yours does, and her laundry hasn't been folded in a week either. Guard yourselves against complaining, but take joy that you're not the only one walking this road.

~Clean or organize something- Do something, anything, every day. If it's hard to find the energy to lift a finger around the house, try setting a timer for just fifteen minutes. Usually, doing just a little bit gives the momentum necessary to keep plugging along. You may even want to take my hour a day challenge. Being productive really does lift the spirit.

~Find a project or hobby- Paint the bathroom. Sew some curtains. Make jewelry. Do whatever floats your boat. It's nice to have a hobby to occupy your mind and give a creative outlet.

~Create things to look forward to- If hubby doesn't get home from work until late, then plan to watch a chick-flick in the evening. Start a novel that you pull out during the baby's afternoon nap. Plan on enjoying your favorite blogs, connecting with friends on Facebook, or getting in some exercise during your alone time. Having something enjoyable to look forward to makes the time when your husband is away from home much more bearable.

~Plan special surprises for your husband- Looking beyond ourselves is a great way to battle self-pity and resentment. Plan a fancy snack for when your husband rolls in late. Rent that action move he's wanted to see, take out the trash so he doesn't have to, help the children make construction paper cards. Making your husband feel loved usually circles right back around to fill up your own heart.

Do you battle the loneliness of motherhood? Have any tips or encouragement to share?

Shared with Mercy Ink, Titus 2sdays, Titus 2 Tuesdays, Teach Me Tuesdays.

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It sort of feels like Christmas time around our house.

Except without the tree.

Or gifts.

Or music.

Or cookies.  (I want cookies.)

I just have that same it's-so-busy-I-don't-have-time-to-breathe kind of feeling I get around the Christmas season.  All busy, all the time. There are final homeschool lessons to finish up, baseball games nearly every evening, and dance rehearsals concluding with a recital. My week feels spent before it has even begun.

See? Feels like Christmas, right?

I couldn't even attempt a week like this without planning a menu.  We'd starve.  Or eat frozen pizza every night.  I need a plan so I can work ahead and be prepared for the craziness.  That's just the way it is.

And speaking of craziness, are you following along with me in the Hour A Day Challenge for better homemaking? For some odd reason (probably because I happen to be odd), I thought this would be a good week to commit to working on my home for one concentrated hour each day.

I suppose maybe it's a good thing that I heaped this challenge on top of an insane week.  Without it, I'd likely do nothing more than feel the ache of the busyness without accomplishing anything productive. I'd waste all my time looking for friends or family members to complain to.  Then I'd feel sorry for myself and probably cry.  'Cause that's how I roll. 

But I don't have to worry.  I have this menu and a To Do List planned for the week. No problem.  No crying here.  Um....right.

Here's this week's menu plan:

Breakfasts around our house tend to be a fend-for-yourself affair. I try to keep a wide enough selection of items on hand that the kids can either fix for themselves or can fix with minimal help. Also, since my husband works a job with odd hours, every meal is not a "family meal". When Dad is at work, I try to keep things simple to save time and my sanity (well, whatever sanity I have left by dinner time.). I've marked our "family meals" with an asterisk (*).

BREAKFAST
Leftover pancakes
Homemade granola
Pumpkin muffins
Cereal
Oatmeal
Bagels
Eggs
Homemade bread
Toast
Yogurt
Fruit

LUNCH
Sandwiches
Cheese, lunchmeat, crackers
Grilled cheese
Mac & cheese
Ramen noodles, salad
Boiled eggs
Leftovers
Fruit
Veggies and dip

DINNER
*Steak, baked potatoes, salad
Turkey breast, mashed potatoes, lima beans
*Chicken kabobs, rice pilaf, salad
Spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread
Meatball subs
Pancakes, homemade syrup, smoothies
Beans and rice

Shared with Menu Plan Monday.

What's your week look like? Tell us about in the comments!

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Just a quick reminder that tomorrow, we're starting our Hour a Day Challenge.  We are going to work on our homes for one concentrated hour every single day.  You in?

:: THIS WEEK'S DAILY TO DO LIST ::

For Memory...

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit,
but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Let each of you look not only to his own interests,
but also to the interests of others."

(Philippians 2:2-4)

For Every Day...

Morning To Do List :: {if all else fails, I'll try to do this list every day....even if it takes all day!}
--Quiet time
--Drink water
--Exercise
--Pack lunches
--Make bed
--Shower, dressed, make-up, hair
--Start laundry
--Clean up kitchen and dishes
--Wipe up bathrooms
--Water plants
--Put water bottles in fridge

Afternoon To Do List :: {this will help my day go a whole lot smoother}
--Drink water
--Take vitamin
--Finish and fold laundry
--Early dinner prep
--Update checkbook
--Quick clean-up
--Fix dinner
--Kitchen and dishes cleaned up

For this week...

Weekly To Do List :: {this includes my weekly housecleaning}
~Day 1 :: trash and recycling; clean purse
~Day 2 :: weekly cleaning tasks (ie. vacuum, dust, mop, bathrooms, mirrors, appliance fronts)
~Day 3 :: files and paperwork 
~Day 4 :: wash sheets; wash delicate laundry; make next week's menu; make grocery list
~Day 5 :: catch-up on any tasks I've missed during the week
~Day 6 :: calendar planningclip and file couponsgrocery pre-list (I do these on the weekend)

Monthly To Do List ::  {if I miss something this week, I'll catch it next month}
Master bedroom
~Day 1 :: remove obvious clutter - For some reason, the master bedroom easily becomes a clutter zone.  We think we'll set something down until we have the time to put it away properly. Then, we start working on the laundry and realize we'll never, ever have the time to put things away properly.  Let's make the time today!  

~Day 2 :: baseboards and dusting - Winter has left a layer of dust everywhere.  A quick, dry cloth to the baseboards will help us remember their original color (who knew they weren't naturally grey?) The furniture could use a wipe-down, too.

~Day 3 :: windows - There is some sort of science project growing on my window ledges.  A very gross science project.  The damp and dark of winter is giving way to the breezy and bright of spring.  It's time to destroy the crud that built up on the windows over the winter so we can enjoy the view without cringing.  

~Day 4 :: sort clothes - With warmer weather here, it's a good time to pull out the short-sleeves, pack away the long-sleeves, and get rid of the clothes we wouldn't be caught dead in.  Oh, we could also get rid of those items that make fun of the fact that we're no longer the same size we were in high school.  They aren't kind and shouldn't be allowed to hang around. 

~Day 5 :: closet clutter - That clutter that gets piled on the bedroom floor (see Day 1), often migrates to the bedroom closet.  Ahhh, the joy of looking into the closet without looking around  a bunch of stuff that doesn't belong there.

Remember, after this post goes up each weekend, you can easily access a printable version all week long by simply clicking the To-Do List tab at the top of the page (see it up there?). 

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There is something that drives me absolutely nuts. It makes me want to gnash my teeth and say things I'll regret. It annoys me to no end.

It's when my kids wander into the room and say they're bored.

Drives. me. crazy.

I usually reply with some comment about the number of tasks on my To Do List and how they are welcome to do a few of those to fill their time.

They generally respond by rolling their eyes and mumbling something under their breath that we're both pretty sure I shouldn't hear. Then they go someplace else to mope instead.

It's always a real bonding moment.

Lately, I've been getting that same bored feeling as my kids.

I've been noticing a not-sure-what-to-do-with-myself kind of feeling coming over me a lot, which is strange since I have so many things to do all the time. But for some reason, it seems like I'm doing a lot of wandering.

I'll go into my room to fold some laundry....I'll check my email while I'm standing there....I'll lose interest in the laundry and carry a glass into the kitchen....I'll start to unload the dishwasher....I'll peek at facebook....I'll look for something else to do and leave the half-empty dishwasher for later....I'll start to pick up the newspaper....I'll stop to look up the book I wanted to order online....round and round the hamster wheel.

I leave tasks half done. I give chores half my attention. I work with half my effort.

I have an unsettled feeling.

I find myself looking for excuses to get out of doing what needs done. I search for conversation online, and I fill my time with unproductive (and unimportant) activities.

Then, when the day is coming to an end, I race around like a crazy person, trying to make the house look like I actually did something with my time that day. And while our home may look somewhat presentable, my list of things I wanted to do lays untouched.

I'm annoyed because I can't seem to get anything done, but it's really all my fault (even more annoying). I'm not guarding my time from the things that suck it dry. I'm giving into every single temptation and then complaining when I suffer the consequences.

It's time to take real action.

I thought that by setting some general goals for managing my time wisely, I could change this frustrating trend in my life.

I thought wrong.

It's too easy to ignore my own good intentions. If I really want to develop better homemaking skills, then I need to make better use of my time. I need to set a measurable goal that will give me a little kick on the backside every day.

An hour a day is a good place to start.

I've decided to challenge myself to spend one hour on concentrated house-type work every single day. No excuses. No getting sidetracked. No slacking off.

Now, I'm pretty sure that, even with my aimless wandering, I'm doing more than just one hour of work around my house already, but the quality of my work is greatly lacking. And my attitude toward it just plain stinks.

It's tempting to set a loftier goal, like organizing everything that doesn't jump out of my way, or making the kids' rooms look magazine-ready, or finally getting rid of every inch of clutter.

But those goals can't easily be measured and are likely to be forgotten after a couple of days.

I think I can manage one hour. And, hopefully, that one hour will help propel me into more action throughout the day.

An hour-a-day guidelines.

Self-discipline isn't one of my strong suites. So, while I'm trying not to set too many rules for my hour-a-day challenge, I do need a few guidelines to keep me from getting off track:

~The hour each day can be broken into shorter segments, but those shorter times must be spent doing concentrated work. In other words, no checking anything online while working.

~Use a timer to help stay focused and track the time. No cheating.

~May use one fifteen-minute block for doing a Morning Routine, but the rest of the time should be spend on other tasks. (If you don't already have one, check out how to make a simple a Morning To Do List.)

~Complete Daily To-Do List tasks first. I make a weekly plan for managing a home by doing small daily tasks, but that plan only works if it's actually followed. Go figure! No more procrastinating the chores that have been scheduled.

~Work early whenever possible. Try to get most of the hour of work out of the way while it's still early. More energy equals more effective effort and more momentum to carry throughout the day. Also, doing an hour of housework when dinner should be on the stove isn't going to solve any problems.

I'm offering a challenge and some accountability.

I'm challenging myself to spend one full hour each day doing what I'm called to do, and I'm challenging you, too.

Next week, let's commit ourselves to turning over a new leaf. Let's dare ourselves to discover what happens when we set our minds to something worthwhile. Let's see what we can accomplish in one good hour of hard work.

And let's give ourselves some accountability. I need it. Remember? Self-discipline isn't exactly my thing. Let's encourage and push each other to keep up our efforts.

I'm going to be tweeting about my progress, sharing what I've accomplished on Facebook, and snapping pics on Instagram.

Want to join me?

This weekend, I'll post next week's Daily To Do List {Weekly Plan} so you can see what I'm going to be working on and, possibly, follow along, too. You may want to subscribe so you don't miss the excitement. (Yes, I'm joking about the excitement, but you still may want to subscribe.)

And I hope you'll follow, and like, and look so we can do this thing together. I'm a little bit nervous that I'm drumming up this hype and then might lose interest mid-week. I do that sort of thing. It would help to know that I'm not alone here.

So, want to join my challenge? Let's chat in the comments...

Shared with Christian Mommy Blogger, Better Mom Mondays, Grace Laced, Mama Moments Mondays. 

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I want to do better about memorizing God's Word.  

It's important.  Maybe even essential.

But it's hard. 

It isn't just that it's challenging to memorize anything longer than the list of my kids' names (which I regularly forget)....it's hard to find the time and desire.

It's hard to want  to do something that's difficult and requires brain cells.  I have so few these days.

Then I go and read something like Psalm 119:11 "I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you."

I know my heart, my tendency toward sin.

I know how quickly I slip into self-pity and selfishness...and basically any other sin that involves the word "self."  

That's who I am. Sure, I cover it up, but it's the real me. 

So, I started putting a memory verse on my Daily To Do List that I print out each week. I'm also writing the verses onto index cards,  and I've started a memory verses Pinterest board to save all these verse images in one place. 

All those things help.

But I still have to decide if it's true....

Is it true that there is nothing I desire on earth besides God? 

In those moments when my heart feels broken and offended and alone, is God my strength?

Is the cross of Jesus my portion?  Is it the one thing that I cling to?  The only thing that satisfies me?

Is God...His Word...Jesus' death important to me?

How about you?  Do you memorize God's Word? 

Shared with Raising Homemakers.

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Another Mother's Day weekend has come and gone, and now we're back to real life. You know, the one where we're a little less super-hero and a little more janitor....and laundry washer....and human Kleenex....and mean mommy who never let's anyone do anything fun.

Yep, that  life.

And sometimes that life is hard. Sometimes it's very hard.

It seems like the kiddo whom we love so much will never sleep through the night, or in his own bed, or in pajamas that he doesn't pee all over. Again.

It feels like she will never, ever stop getting into everything, or hitting when she gets mad, or refusing to eat anything but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. At least every now and then.

And we wonder if they will ever get along, or learn to truly forgive, or like each other. Even a little.

But there is something important I've learned over the years, although I don't always remember it....

Today is not forever.

The hard stuff of today will be a distant memory tomorrow.

It seems like the trials of today will never end. The baby will never sleep through the night. The toddler will never get over that cold. The preschooler will never obey cheerfully.

Then, all of a sudden, often without our noticing, the hours of sleep get longer, the runny nose slows down, and the discipline finally sinks in.

Because today is not forever.

And those issues that seem so life-consuming right now will pass, later than we wish and sooner than we expect.

Of course, there are two sides to that coin. (Actually, there are three sides, which I realize is scientifically impossible. Unless you count the edge. But that would be weird. So just work with me here.)

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9)

The opportunities will fade away, too.

On the flip side of the troubles of today moving on, is the fact that the opportunities of today will move on, too.

The chance to teach cheerful obedience, trust, humility, repentance, and forgiveness will not present itself in quite the same way again.

I remember so clearly taking my little guy's hand as he confessed and apologized, with quivering lip, an unkindness to his older brother. It was one of the sweetest, must humbling things I've ever witnessed.

But as time moves on, those moments are harder to encourage and even harder to learn. What wasn't easy then  is nearly impossible now. I am so thankful I had the opportunity to teach repentance and forgiveness to a young and tender heart, even though I'm pretty sure it was in the midst of a situation I would have rather done without.

And I regret the times - so many of them - that I didn't teach and train. That I didn't realize (or care) how much character would be required for the teen years. How much harder it is to shape a heart as the years go by.

Today is not forever, so I'd better use it wisely.

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." (Ephesians 5:15-16)

The joys of today will be remembered longer than the troubles.

That's the third side of the proverbial coin I was rambling on about like an idiot.

I am convinced that life is made up of phases. I still experience different phases in my own life. Sometimes I'm great about cleaning and organizing, and other times, not so much. Sometimes I eat healthy, and other times I eat cake three times a day.

Okay, I don't really eat cake three times a day, but sometimes I wish I did.

Children need loved, disciplined, and served during their phases. They need us to be patient and kind and to guard their hearts and our tongues.

And they need to smile.

They need to have fun, and bake cookies, and eat cookies, and take walks, and go to the pool, and make crafts out of glue and construction paper, and watch movies, and play board games, and listen to the sound of their Mom's voice reading them good books.

They need memories. The good kind.

Because today is not forever.

This weekend, we took our family out to see a movie. I'm pretty sure the kids will always remember sitting in that theater, eating big 'ol boxes of candy that we sneaked in.

And I'm pretty sure they won't remember how messy their rooms were that day, how annoyed I was when they didn't carry their dishes into the kitchen, how they should have worked on homework instead of playing video games.

I won't remember that stuff either.

Our kids need to giggle.  They need to know we're listening when they talk.  They need a way to remember they are loved, even when they think they aren't lovable.  They need grace.

They need it today to lay a foundation for tomorrow.

Because today is not forever.

Shared with Rachel Wojo, Live Called, Christian Mommy Blogger, The Better Mom, Grace Laced.

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